Memory Log
I suppose if I’m going to do this, I should before I go any further tonight.
Log 2.
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Devon Cenac. Her and I had known each other for sometime, but had never really been that close. Until the Dallas trip. It was kind of a surprising thing. We began talking to each other about our problems and then, it just happened. One night texting. There was no flirting, it just kinda was an uspoken truth that we both realized. It was a great feeling. Though, it hurt a lot of people and really pulled at the fabric of this place, but, it brought me a lot of wonderful memories. I remember how sick it’d make me to think about her having to leave, and I hated knowing June was getting closer and closer. My favorite memories were how goofy we were. How relaxed we were around each other. There were very few secrets because we understood each other very well. We could tell what the other was thinking. There were a lot of awesome morning, waking up and seeing her smile, tickling her, and then having her curl up against me and go back to sleep.
It was really nice. Those days felt like they want on forever, and the feelings that they brought never seemed to wane. Those mornings were nice, and the nights too. I felt really comfortable, and she’d always tell me to shut up when I was sad or felt like I wasn’t good enough. She’d hold my head and force eye contact and remind me what I meant to her, and the storms in my heart would suddenly calm down. She had a way of really getting to me. I miss it, even now. Thank you, for all those days Devon. Sorry I couldn’t keep my promises. That seems to be my MO these days.
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I suppose it’d be fitting to place Dexter here. Considering everything. Dexter and I were friends going way back to when I was in 8th grade. We talked on the bus. That was when Dexter was becoming his own person. I just sat my ass down in his seat one day and struck up a conversation. From that point on, we were pretty good friends.
Then, I messed up big and we didn’t talk for awhile. It sucked, in retrospect. I hated it really. I’d talk a lot about it, and I realize today it was because I hated the fact he would have nothing to do with me. Eventually, he forgave me and we let the past go. Dexter is honestly, my best friend today. Dexter and I have a lot of similarities in our lives, and he’s proven every day that he’s a clutch, top notch person that has the will of a God. Dexter is a simple guy, and could make himself happy with pretty much anything life throws at him. I have a lot of respect for that. Dexter is the person I’ve always turned to if I needed a laugh. The amount of time spent laughing on skype and at his his would probably reach into the hours upon hours. All of it, was really nice. Hey Dex, you should go watch Code Ment finally. I know you want to.
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Awhile back I had this sudden explosion of Dallas Stars fans start following me. Because of this, I met one of the single most awesome people I’ve ever come across in my life.
CeCe. I was never really someone who thought much of people who meet online, I guess it just never made too much sense to me. However, CeCe has changed my outlook on this a bit. She’s an awesome character, and is another person who has the willpower of a saint. I seem to have a lot of friends like that. She’s optimistic, and fights for the things she loves. Ever since I’ve gotten to know her, I’ve really been impressed by how she acts and thinks. She believes in what she loves, and will fight tooth and nail for it.
I want nothing other than the best for you. I want you get healthy and get to live your dreams out! That wold make me happy. You owe it to yourself ya’ know? I believe in you, and I thank you for being so caring and a true friend. Distance doesn’t mean people can’t for bonds. I wish we’d grown up together, I have a feeling we woulda been inseparable. You’re awesome, stay that way CeCe.
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Hannah and Quentin. The Pearl River trip we took was a blast. All of us together, in the camper. We played poker the whole weekend, and poor Hannah didn’t know how to play, so she sat in the room most of the time. That was pretty much the first time I saw you two together, and I have to admit that I didn’t have a lot of faith in the beginning for you two. However, ya’ll have proved me wrong and you guys are doing as healthy as ever. Distance doesn’t mean shit, you guys prove that to me daily. One of those life lessons that would have come in handy before.
You two are so strange. Quentin is a huge goofball. That Pearl River trip was the greatest. We pretty much did nothing all weekend. We sat in a circle on the floor and played poker. It was so fun, playing that same CD over and over again, and everyone catching fits over the same songs. Boone, thanks for making that CD for me, I still listen to it in my car all the time when I drive.
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I kinda laugh when I think about this and how up and down it’s been the last few weeks, but Kyle and Zoe make me see how true love can work in such funny ways.
Zoe, you know all the things I’ve told you. I really think ya’ll are great for each other. I’ve been watching you two go back and forth for a long time now, and I’ve seen both sides. It’s nice, being friends with both sides. Kyle is absolutely obsessed with you. Even when he acts strange, or isn’t himself or does stupid things, he loves you at the core. Kyle reminds me a lot of myself at the core, but I think he’s more sure of himself than I ever was. Kyle’s complete with you, keep fighting for what you love, it’s what you do best.
Kyle, you’re also one of my best friends. You irritate me sometimes, as do most people, but I think you’ve got a lot going for you. I know you hate it here in Houma, and I’m excited for the fact you get to leave finally next year. I hope it helps you balance things in your life, and keep your heart and mind steady. You’re an athlete, and your hockey skills still amaze me, even when you get pissed. I think I’d honestly be more afraid of you in a shootout than Tyler these days. I think I’m actually going to be giving you my hockey stuff soon, I don’t have much use for it right now. I’d rather not see it go to waste’ ya’ know?
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Speaking of relationships that make me happy. My Brother deserves credit.
Never in my life have I ever gotten along with my brother like I do today. He’s always been so hateful, spiteful.. the last year or so he’s been so much better. He’s happy. He’s really happy. Bailey is the greatest thing that ever happened to my little brother. She balances him, makes him feel loved and wanted. He’s become a better person because of her. My brother has my Dad’s spirit. He can figure out how to fix anything, do anything, if he wants to. He’s someone who’s going to build his life from the ground up, and be on top of the world.
I’m jealous of my brother. Something I never thought I’d say in my life. He handles things better. He overcame his depression, and he found his girl. I think Kyle and Bailey are going to be that story of high school sweethearts who get married one day. It’s something else. He’d yell and scream with anyone else, but with Bailey, he compromises and gives in and is soft spoken. That’s my brother, at his heart. Not the hardass he’s always tried to be. I finally respect my brother, and I will say it here. He’s a better man than I’ll ever be. I should have been a better brother to him growing up.
It makes me so happy, when I go upstairs and Bailey is here and Kyle is smiling and laughing. I made me make them breakfast a few weeks ago. I was just happy to see it. My brother is awesome, I love him. I’m so glad for him. I just wished he’d come play hockey more often.
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Alright, getting emotional now. Time to call it a night and go piss off my Dad by drinking his crown.
